We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
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