Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize