just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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