Did you just see the Batmobile???
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
