My room smells like vodka and shame
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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