How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
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