Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just want nice things and good sex
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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