Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
