I hope mine doesn't look like that
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
