I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
