Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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