why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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