so that wasnt chicken after all
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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