I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
