You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
