My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I would ride that face into the sunset
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