You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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