i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
