I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
