I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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