She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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