I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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