I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Randomize
