Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We need to rekindle our bromance
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
