...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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