are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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