Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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