trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
