Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
