A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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