Someone shit on the floor
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
