Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I checked into jail on foursquare
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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