I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
