In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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