She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
