I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Randomize
