Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize