I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i just wanna soil my oats bro
her vagine was all disorganized.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Randomize
