Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize