the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize