I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
