just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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