apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
