I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
