my vag is so smooth its legendary
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it