is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
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Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.