thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
