Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
