lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
