you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
