what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I look better un-naked...
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my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
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Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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