what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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