I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
