buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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