Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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