your room smells of hookers.
And success
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
