I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
