Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
