u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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