also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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